Mom's Losing Their Shit at Weddings.

Anon here!

We’re back with another dose of the Weekly Confessional. The Newsletter that makes your inbox Snap, Crackle and Pop!

We hope your Labor Day was great and your hangover is managable! 🇺🇸🍻

Let’s go! 👇

The uneven bridal party thing is SO wild to me.

From the very beginning, I knew I had exactly 3 people I wanted in my bridal party. But my husband is an extrovert with a lot of close friends and said he wanted more than that…

I was like, ask whoever you want! What does that have to do with me?

I had three bridesmaids and he had six groomsmen and everyone I told about that ahead of time was SO weirded out by that!

They were like “how is that going to work?”

I don’t even know how to answer that question….when we are at the altar, my bridesmaids will stand next to me and his groomsmen will stand next to him. What do you think will happen if the party isn’t exactly balanced?

Will the earth rupture?

Will the minister refuse to marry us until there’s symmetry?

I’m not super surprised that people try to have even wedding parties. I was shocked though that not only am I in the grand minority, I’m pretty sure to this day that my wedding is the ONLY one I’ve been to with an uneven wedding party.

Is that not odd?

Is it normal for marrying couples to have the exact same number of close friends/siblings/cousins? Doesn’t it feel icky to anyone else to ask someone to be a bridesmaid or a groomsman, a title that is supposed to show the significance of your relationship, just to “match” your SO’s numbers? Like it’s an artificial honor for the sake of aesthetics. Or else you’re leaving someone out you would really want to be there for the sake of symmetry?

My cousin asked one girl to be her bridesmaid so she could get the numbers even with her husband, and then one of the groomsmen dropped out so she had to un-invite that girl from the bridal party. That’s mortifying to me, but it must happen relatively often because like I said, I’ve never been to another wedding with uneven numbers.

I’ve been married once.

My ex’s ONLY job was to put the thank you notes that I filled out, enveloped, addressed, and stamped into the mailbox…

I found them about two years later shoved in one of his many junk boxes.

His lack of engagement or support on the day that was about US was visible throughout our entire relationship.

My mom was unreasonably angry at our choice for flower girl. She kept asking if we were sure, saying it would be way too distracting and my sister would be overwhelmed. I finally asked how would having my partner’s 5 year old niece as flower girl be this much of an issue and why would my sister need to be involved?

Turns out, she forgot our niece was named Lucy… which happens to be the same name as my sister’s very loud terrier with bladder control issues. So when we said Lucy was our flower girl, she assumed we meant the dog.

Once we cleared it up, she was very excited for our niece to participate and the dog to stay home. And now every time we’re with that side of the family we refer to them as human-Lucy and dog-Lucy.

It’s Your Turn

If you enjoyed this newsletter, answer one or all of the following questions. We will include the best ones in next week’s Weekly Confessional.

1. What happened between you and a member of your bridal party lose touch?

2. What’s something about weddings that everyone views as normal that weirds you out? The Garter Toss comes to mind for us… 😬🤮

Reply back to this email with your answers.

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